Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Don't Join the Black Friday Death March!!

Hey folks,

I've been working on a few neat things lately, mostly putting together the nominee list for the 2009 Fork The Mainstream Awards to be given out before the end of the year! It's a pretty neat award, it's actually a golden fork on a Ramen Noodle Base. It's gonna go to the very best musicians/artists/comedians that have submitted work to the Starving Artist's Guide. More details and a list of nominees later this week.
Right now, I'm more concerned about the upcoming deaths of consumers that are absolutely hell-bent on getting a great "Black Friday deal." Here's the situation, as it unfolded last year:

Don't let this be you! If you're really interested in Black Friday deals, but don't want to be trampled to death by crazed Zombie Consumers, check out http://bfads.net/ This site catalogs all of the Black Fridays Deals, and a lot of them are available for you in your PJ's with a nice mug of coffee surfing the web. There are a couple of awesome ones, like an $80 10MegaPixel Camera that you'll save $40 off the regular price. There's also the website PropertyRoom.com in which you get great deals on seized items from Johnny Law. It's pretty sweet, and I got a Cannondale Bike for $130 from it. Now that's a deal. Not to mention, it doesn't add to the overflowing garbage heaps all around us, which some call New Jersey. Just kidding!

Whichever way the wind blows, be safe this Holiday Season!


Sunday, November 22, 2009

Starving Artist Radio

Starving Artist Radio

The latest episode of Starving Artist Radio features music from singer-songwriter Rachel Lee Walsh with her song "Please Come to Brooklyn" and Brass Knuckles, by Jedi Nemesis as well as new music from Bowery Boy Blue and Lesser Lights. Johnny also talks about finishing his new book and more...Stream it below or get it in the iTunes store for free.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Dry Cleaner Myth

Lately, I've been posting some pretty weird but hopefully fun links, like the electric soda bottle and a funny one about "the Bodega," which can still be found directly below. Another one that I'll write about today in order to stave off actual "work" is the myth of dry cleaning. Fall is in full bloom and I recently took out my iconoclastic "orange lumberjack wool coat," which I sport on both the back cover of the new book and as my facebook pic. It's been in the closet for about 8 months and I finally felt the time was right to bring it out. To quote Dane Cook, "It smelled like it was dipped in a vat of piss." Truth be told, I've never washed the thing. I bought it at a Salvation Army about two years ago, but the tag said "Dry Clean Only". Being the Cheap Bastard I am, I never dry cleaned it. It started to make me feel icky a while ago, but I caved after I came home a week ago feeling like I was covered in slugs. I'm a pretty hygenic guy when it comes down to it--I do laundry once a week and generally keep a tight ship. But Dry cleaning is expensive.
That's why I decided to hand wash it.
I found a bottle of "wool cleaner" below my sink and gave it the washing of a lifetime. For an investment of nada, or what would probably be $2 at the grocery store, I didn't have to wait a week for dry cleaning and spend 10X the amount. It took two days to dry, as wool should, and it felt like a brand new coat!
So I know this is a gross story, but it ends happily ever after, with me in fresh threads and dirty no more.
Hopefully you can apply this story as fits in your life.
Keep Fresh, Keep Clean.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

So you can't pay your electricity bill?

If you're a starving artist like me, the electricity bill can end up taking a good portion of your paycheck. A few months back, I received an electricity bill for $500! I was outraged and called up Con Ed., and they told me that they were unable to get a proper reading because the meter reader guy couldn't get access to the meter. It's in the basement of my house, and a nice asian woman lives there, so I figured there had been a mistake. First off, it's HARD to read the electricity meter. I went down once, only to call back and be told that I had read it incorrectly. I scoffed and forgot to do it, and meanwhile I still hadn't paid the electricity bill. It took me a full two months to go back down and get the correct reading, and I finally called them up and still owed them $270 that I didn't have...
I guess my point is that if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, you might want to check out the video below--A man figured out how to turn a 2L soda bottle into a 60Watt lightbulb that is free and never burns out. Pretty cool, right? I think I want to do it to my apartment.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Eat Like a King on a Dollar a Meal

If this made you hungry, check out cheapassfood.com

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Dropped the Ball and Picked it Up Again

Hey folks,
I dropped the ball today--I didn't get around to recording a podcast. Tsk, Tsk, I know. However, I did end up getting around to making the new book (ebook, at least) FREE on lulu.com by clicking this link. "What the hell are you thinking, Johnny?!" you might ask yourself. I will tell you what I'm thinking, Holmes, and that is that the more people to read it, the bigger and wilder things will become in my life. So why the heck not make it free?! It's not like I've not had money before--IF you want to support me and buy it, it's available here in good old-fashioned thinly- sliced tree-guts with jet-black ink pressed in very different patterns that coalesce into "letters" that form "words" that form "sentences" that form "paragraphs" that complete my "book," which is then decoded by your brain to tell you a pretty sweet story of my life in New York City. You can check that out here for $13.99. I should get my copy in the mail tomorrow! Send me an email to starvingartistsguide@gmail.com with what you think of it!

I'll try to have a podcast up tomorrow at some point.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Corporations Have Won

So perhaps it's a sign of the times, but both the Yankees and Bloomberg have triumphed this week. Thus proving that money can buy a "win." Today I found out that the new stadium cost $1,500,000,000 US to complete. That's 1.5 bbillion dollars.
Bloomberg spent a total of over $250,000,000 to clamp down on his 3rd term.
Meanwhile, 39,000 people are physically homeless in New York City. The streets are riddled with potholes, the subways are falling apart, and the working poor still don't have health care.
I guess it's partly been this information, but also the fact that I've been exhausted from writing the book that I haven't managed to post much here.
That being said, I'm more fulfilled now than I've ever felt in my life. (Funny, right?) I guess in some strange way, having such monumental corporations to fight give us all some reason to wake up every morning. I just got my bike from Long Island on Sunday. It's beautiful. I've spent the last days fixing it up and it rides like a dream. I'm gonna take it down to the park for a cruise later.
I think that once people start buying the book, you'll realize how much money you can save just by changing a few random things in your life. It's pretty sweet. Everyone I've talked to has mentioned how much less spending money they have these days, so if you're in the same situation you might wanna check it out by clicking the link to the left. I ordered a copy for myself and I plan on printing a couple out if it's easier for you to get it from me. I swear I'm not gonna mention it too much anymore. I'm planning on recording a new podcast this weekend and getting this site a little more frequently updated.
In music news, Bowery Boy Blue just released a new EP, which rocks and I suggest picking it up on Itunes. With their permission, I might do a sneak peak of some of the tracks on the upcoming podcast. Also, Laura Meyer is heading back for a show in New York City on November 8th before heading back on the road for the third leg of her U.S. Tour. Her new album is getting rave reviews and if you've heard her exclusive S.A.G performance (ep. 24), you already know how flippin' good she is.
I also am working on releasing a free acoustic album sometime within the coming weeks available exclusively via starvingartistsguide.com. It's called "Aloha From Brooklyn, or: Songs for People who like songs" and will have a lot of never before heard B-sides as well as songs off of my PERMUTATIONS ep, available on Itunes. Again, I have a little mp3 for people who sign up for the email list called "The Creativity Builder Blueprints" that will increase your ability to get through bouts of writers block. Sign up for the email list and I'll send it to you free of charge!

Well, that's about all the writing I can do on this wonderful Thursday morning. Keep your ears peeled for the Sunday podcast!

Starving Artist's Guide Mixtape Vol. 1!!!

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